For as long as I remember I've had horrible migraines. Nothing ever made them better. They only went away with sleep. When I first started getting them my Aunt lived with us. She practiced healing touch and massage therapy. She would use lavender oil and help me meditate on her table until I fell asleep. That's still the only thing that works for me. Sleep.
I tried an injection called AJOVY that finally worked starting in April of 2019. But I had a coupon that made it free until 2020. So I go to get my miracle injection in January 2020 and the dude that knows me by now tells me it's going to be $700. Really? $700 for one fucking shot that lasts only a month. Now I'm already well aware that I am the only one at this CVS that gets the damn AJOVY so he asks if I still want them to order it for me. Uhhhhh no fucking way man. Who can afford that? He laughs and gives me a paper bag full of my nerve pain medication. It's 90 days worth. 6 pills a day. 540 pills. I take so many of these pills that they literally give me the giant bottle they come in. But that only has 500 pills in it. So for the rest of them I need a couple smaller bottles. Hence the sketchy paper bag. . . OK so no more AJOVY for me. I'm tough as nails though right? I'll be fine I tell myself. Nope. Wrong.
The first week I had blinding migraines every day. My husband has to take care of my boys again. I feel guilty again. I take a lot of fucking showers.
Something about the showers helps. Maybe it's because whenever anything was wrong when I was growing up my mother always told me to take a shower and I will feel better. Maybe she just convinced me it would work (since nothing else does) When I get out of the shower in order to contain the dull roar of my too big brain certain conditions must be met. I have two towels on, one just laying on my head like the "BVM" (Blessed Virgin Mary) and a fan has to be pointing directly at my face. WTF is that? Why does that help? I don't know. But it works. Usually.
I always thought everyone got migraines like me. It wasn't until I moved in with my boyfriend at 20 years old that I realized something was not right. I would be crying in the shower trying in vain to get the migraine to go away. My now husband sitting with me trying to calm me, our kitten in his lap wondering what's wrong. God that man puts up with a lot. Now 12 years later, our kids are old enough to be left unsupervised. We repeat our process. Him sitting talking with me. My pounding brain being soothed by the water. Our 11 year old cat meowing to be petted.
I know now what I didn't know then. I have Chiari.
Fuck Chiari.
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