I've always been clumsy. But, in 2016 something changed. My falls got way worse. Every month I was either in the ER or at my Doctor's office. Almost every time I walked down the steps in our home I fell. 3 X-Rays, 2 twisted ankles, 2 bruised knees, 2 bruised feet.
Once I fell while holding my 18 month old son. I felt my legs give out so I held him tight and leaned back to absorb the impact. Bruised ribs. The baby is unhurt. It was worth it.
My doctor asked if I was the victim of domestic violence. I thanked her for her concern. "I'm just clumsy that's all!"
Then one day I felt like I was going to fall in the bathroom. I grabbed the towel bar (but since it's not made for a big girl like myself to hang on to) it breaks off the wall and I whack myself in the head with it. And fall into the tub anyway.
I feel like I'm on a roller coaster the rest of the day. My friend comes to visit. I babysit my nephew. I play with my sons. It feels like I'm spinning in circles. But, I ignore it. Like mothers usually do. I don't have time for this shit.
The next day I fall almost every time I'm walking. I bring my sons a snack. I fall. Hard. Scraping my legs and my feet so hard my pants tore and my feet are bleeding. I finally give in and call the doctor. She says I have a concussion and I need an MRI immediately.
My mother takes me. It's June and it's dark outside so I know it's late. I am convinced I have a brain tumor. My head is pounding as the machine bangs around me. I keep my eyes closed so I don't see the cage over my face. I start counting my breaths. Don't panic. My head is throbbing. I feel nauseous. It's over.
I don't have a brain tumor.
I have Chiari.
What the fuck is Chiari?
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